In this silence,
I find my heart asking
for what I sometimes fear:
for You to bring Your death
to what is now not me
anymore.
My cowering darkness
clings to this
lack of talk,
knowing that when You speak
it has no where to go,
no where to run.
My will betrays my fears,
praying haphazardly
for Your violent words;
words that can make
an apple pie from scratch
now threatening to make something new
out of me.
Friday, March 07, 2008
in this silence
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1 comments:
In re to the second paragraph...I can relate to the what is now not me anymore. I heard (and went and bought it) a song on KLove by Brandon Heath, "I'm not who I was". I'm sure you've heard it. It's kinda my theme song:-).
The new me loves God and Jesus more than I ever thought humanly possible. I have always believed but, it's never been like this, as to where I put my whole heart, trust, and faith in him. I used to think that I could do anything I put my mind to. I thought with my determination, self sufficency, and desisre to always have a goals was enough. Boy oh boy was I WRONG...In the past four months I have learned that I can't really do anything without God and his son Jesus Christ first in my life. I have and will continue to put them first in my life, it's kind of sad that it took me so long to figure this out but, I guess the important thing is that I have...(smile). I am so happy with the new me however, I can't say the same for the poeple who new the old me (that no longer exsits). They are kind of in shock and awe at how dramaticlly changed I have become... Some don't like it and have started to distance their selves from me but that's ok with me becuase I would choose GOD over any human being alive. I wouldn't trade the feelings of Love that I have in my heart for Jesus and our Father or do anything to make it go away.
K
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