just some thoughts

what does it mean to get lost in You?
or to lose myself in You?

being lost can envoke panic
a frantic search for safety in the supermarket
the amusement park
or any other overwhelming reality we find ourselves in.

it's recognizing my surroundings as unfamiliar
to lose all sense of direction
in a stare of dizzy confusion

it's not a helpless place
it's a teachable one

but i'm not getting lost--
I'm losing myself
to choose to be lost
to throw yourself into this compass-less adventure
not knowing what or when
or if

the risk is there
unfilled pages
looming with electricity
where anything is possible
(for those who believe, that is)

and You are my destination.

strange
--to lose myself in a person i know
mystery and familiarity dance
a five beat waltz
awkwardly together

maybe that's why i hesitate to jump in
i never dance well

getting lost in a person is much more intimidating
than a place can ever be
for i've been lost in losts of places
and i've always made it back
home

being lost in You holds no promise of that

and still...
the familiar loses its intregue
the known holds no challenge
no adventure
no hope
no food to fill the belly
hungry for what's just out of reach

getting lost in a place threatens us with these things
the foreign can become native
leaving the gap between what I know
and who You are
still wanting

Lord, why do I let You become familiar
robbing you of the mystery and glory that
continues to call me
into lostness?

when i lose my life, i'll find it
if i continue to be a loser,
who knows what i'll find?

perhaps what i am looking for